Myrtle's Trip to Victorias Secret
Yesterday I took Myrtle to Victorias Secret. ( She needed some Girlie things)
Being a single Father it was rather embarrasing for Me. We entered the Mall, Myrtle was dressed in Her Cheerleading outfit, She refusues to take it off, We went into the store and started to look around. I know my face was red the whole time we were in there.
I asked the clerk to help us out with a selection for Myrtle. She needs a training Bra and some pajamas. The clerk sorted through all kinds of unmentionables, and then showed Myrtle a nice frilly Bra with Gold straps. Myrtle slowly mosey'd into the dressing room, and stayed what seemed to be an eternity. Finally She emerged from the dressing room, and it was a sight to see.
She was all twirled up in the straps, Her legs were poking through where the arms should be, and her Head was in the Cup, It looked like she was wearing some kind of weirdo hat. Her tail was curled up and bunched in the other cup. She smiled and said " Look Daddy, What do you think?" I just laughed to myself, and asked the clerk for a more appropiate selection, one with 8 cups so it would cover all of her womanhoods. The clerk sighed and said " This is a Human Store, all the Bras have just 2 cups sir" What kind of discrimination is that, I thought.
Meanwhile during the conversation Myrtle was noseying around one of the Mannequins, had climbed up it and was swinging by her tail from the wig. All of a sudden, the mannequin snapped in half at the waistline, rolled out of the store front and into the common area of the mall, Before we got to the store Myrtle was having a fit for a Cherry Slushie, from the food court, and during all the Chaos the slushie came out of her pouch ( She has a cup holder in there ) spilling all over the mannequin and it looked like from the other customers in the common area's point of veiw that a massacre had just occured. ( Myrtle was still hanging on to the Torso ) There was Screaming and sheer panic as the Mannequin kept rolling over and over, myrtle was going head over heels. One lady screamed ' Look a big rat has dismembered a lady, and she is all bloody"
It was pure pandemoneum. Security, 911, and the Fire Dept, all came ( as usual )
It took a while to explain, but finally we we allowed to leave, but before we left we did purchase a training bra for myrtle, ( 6 of them) It was rather large, and I had to go home and sew a few of them together to make enough cups for her ( it looks like a straight jacket ) we had a few cups left over, They made a nice set of Yammicas for Her. So all in all my Baby is ready for Womanhood. She will wear them to school tommorow for the first time. I'm sure something exciting will happen then, I will let you know.
Until then,,,,
Sincerely
Myrtle's Father, and Seamstress.
Being a single Father it was rather embarrasing for Me. We entered the Mall, Myrtle was dressed in Her Cheerleading outfit, She refusues to take it off, We went into the store and started to look around. I know my face was red the whole time we were in there.
I asked the clerk to help us out with a selection for Myrtle. She needs a training Bra and some pajamas. The clerk sorted through all kinds of unmentionables, and then showed Myrtle a nice frilly Bra with Gold straps. Myrtle slowly mosey'd into the dressing room, and stayed what seemed to be an eternity. Finally She emerged from the dressing room, and it was a sight to see.
She was all twirled up in the straps, Her legs were poking through where the arms should be, and her Head was in the Cup, It looked like she was wearing some kind of weirdo hat. Her tail was curled up and bunched in the other cup. She smiled and said " Look Daddy, What do you think?" I just laughed to myself, and asked the clerk for a more appropiate selection, one with 8 cups so it would cover all of her womanhoods. The clerk sighed and said " This is a Human Store, all the Bras have just 2 cups sir" What kind of discrimination is that, I thought.
Meanwhile during the conversation Myrtle was noseying around one of the Mannequins, had climbed up it and was swinging by her tail from the wig. All of a sudden, the mannequin snapped in half at the waistline, rolled out of the store front and into the common area of the mall, Before we got to the store Myrtle was having a fit for a Cherry Slushie, from the food court, and during all the Chaos the slushie came out of her pouch ( She has a cup holder in there ) spilling all over the mannequin and it looked like from the other customers in the common area's point of veiw that a massacre had just occured. ( Myrtle was still hanging on to the Torso ) There was Screaming and sheer panic as the Mannequin kept rolling over and over, myrtle was going head over heels. One lady screamed ' Look a big rat has dismembered a lady, and she is all bloody"
It was pure pandemoneum. Security, 911, and the Fire Dept, all came ( as usual )
It took a while to explain, but finally we we allowed to leave, but before we left we did purchase a training bra for myrtle, ( 6 of them) It was rather large, and I had to go home and sew a few of them together to make enough cups for her ( it looks like a straight jacket ) we had a few cups left over, They made a nice set of Yammicas for Her. So all in all my Baby is ready for Womanhood. She will wear them to school tommorow for the first time. I'm sure something exciting will happen then, I will let you know.
Until then,,,,
Sincerely
Myrtle's Father, and Seamstress.
posted by matt kevin jones at 9:20 AM
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