The valentine Party

Today was Myrtle's Valentine party at school.
I sent her off today with a " Pouch" full of Valentines. I nearly cried when she waddled up the bus steps, It was the first day the Bus driver diden't swerve at her. She has been so excited about Valentines Day. I think She is in love. She keeps mentioning this little Boy, his name is Billy Bob Ben Jo Holcombe. ( typical for this area ) She has that glassy look of love in her eyes,
( I think thats what it is, It may be just her cross eyes confusing me )
She made a very special homeade Valentine for him, It took her half the evening to make it, trying her best to write his name ledgible ( She uses her Tail). I cant belive my little Girl is growing up so fast.
But of course all good things must come to an end, As usual She got off the school bus crying again, like a concerned Father I rushed down the path to see what was wrong, With Her big Cross eyes and Buck teeth She looked up at me and handed me this Valentine with her tail.
It was a pretty heart shaped with a set of pots and pans on the front. ( Strange I thought )
When I opened it and read it I realized why she was crying. The inside caption read
" Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,
You would be delicious in a big pot of Stew"
Cant wait for you to come to Dinner,
Love
Billy Bob Ben Jo Holcombe.
How hateful was that little Hillbilly child to my Baby,
So to calm her down, we went inside and I dished her up a big bowl of rotton sweet potatoes and little Friskies. She slurped it down with her long tongue, washed up her butt, and fell asleep in my lap. It was one of those National Geographic Moments, And I realized that no matter how ugly or delicious looking my Baby was , I would never let any harm come to her.
So after putting her to bed, I made that Billy Bob Ben Jo Holcombe some brownies with Ex-lax in them, for Her to take to School tommorow. I hope he shits all over Himself for torturing my Baby.
Sincerely
Myrtles father