Cinderella The Possum
My little Girl tried out for a part in the play Cinderella today.
She thinks She is Cinderella anyway. So trying out for the part came naturally for Her (at least She thinks so.) I was there of course wathching every move She Made. She insisted on wearing Her costume to School, instead of changing at the rehearsal. It was a sight to see, Her schelping down to the Bus Stop with Her full length Gown, dragging on the dirt, getting the hem all muddy and dirty, smiling all the way ( the famous 1000 teeth grin ). All the kids on the Bus were laughing at Her and that Holcombe boy threw a rottton Orange at her, It splattered all over the Gown, but not for long, She licked it clean right away. ( She thought it was a compliment) But She looked o.k. minus the big Orange stain on the front of her getup.
During tryouts, once it became her turn, She muddled up to the stage, tripping on the stairs, one of her four Glass slippers fell off, and She reached behind Her with Her tail and slipped the slipper back on without even looking ( having a workable tail comes in handy sometimes )
Once on the Stage She recited ( or should I say grunted Her lines ) And the Director Kept Yelling " Cut " Mary you are supposed to twirl your long blonde Hair after that last line. Once again I thought to Myself "thats Myrtle you Stupid ^^%$##@#$"
Myrtle Has no long blonde Hair, We forgot to put on Her wig for the tryouts.
Then came the part I hated the most, its when Cinderella has to kiss Prince Charming, Prince Charming was being tried out By Billy Bob ben Jo Holcmbe.
He's no prince charming, more like Hillbilly disgusting. Myrtle tilted Her head back and puffed up Her lips, waiting on BBBJH to kiss Her, Then silence fell over the auditorium, BBBJH's face turned a shade of whiter than white, He began to swerve, and lost His stomach right there.
I guess it was the bits of orange peel stuck in Myrtles teeth, and of course Her harendous breath probably. ( no matter how many times a possum brushes her teeth, Her breath could stop a Locamotive in its tracks) Its because She likes to nibble on Dog poop during recess. ( I wish people would scoop up behind their Dogs in the playground)
After BBBJH threw up and fainted, the director Said " Next " and myrtle scurried off stage.
I was so Proud of my little Girl, not only did She complete her lines, but She made that weirdo BBBJH look like a fool. Sad to say though Myrtle diden't get the part of Cinderella, but She did land the Part of one of the Evil Ugly Stepsisiters, A silent part that is, A part She will do well in.
Wll I'm going to take Myrtle out to celebrate this afternoon, She wants to go to the Batting Cages, Its a lot of fun, but I wish Myrtle would learn to let go of the Bat after She hits.
She keeps slinging Herself into the fence.
Until then
Sincerely
Myrtle's Father
She thinks She is Cinderella anyway. So trying out for the part came naturally for Her (at least She thinks so.) I was there of course wathching every move She Made. She insisted on wearing Her costume to School, instead of changing at the rehearsal. It was a sight to see, Her schelping down to the Bus Stop with Her full length Gown, dragging on the dirt, getting the hem all muddy and dirty, smiling all the way ( the famous 1000 teeth grin ). All the kids on the Bus were laughing at Her and that Holcombe boy threw a rottton Orange at her, It splattered all over the Gown, but not for long, She licked it clean right away. ( She thought it was a compliment) But She looked o.k. minus the big Orange stain on the front of her getup.
During tryouts, once it became her turn, She muddled up to the stage, tripping on the stairs, one of her four Glass slippers fell off, and She reached behind Her with Her tail and slipped the slipper back on without even looking ( having a workable tail comes in handy sometimes )
Once on the Stage She recited ( or should I say grunted Her lines ) And the Director Kept Yelling " Cut " Mary you are supposed to twirl your long blonde Hair after that last line. Once again I thought to Myself "thats Myrtle you Stupid ^^%$##@#$"
Myrtle Has no long blonde Hair, We forgot to put on Her wig for the tryouts.
Then came the part I hated the most, its when Cinderella has to kiss Prince Charming, Prince Charming was being tried out By Billy Bob ben Jo Holcmbe.
He's no prince charming, more like Hillbilly disgusting. Myrtle tilted Her head back and puffed up Her lips, waiting on BBBJH to kiss Her, Then silence fell over the auditorium, BBBJH's face turned a shade of whiter than white, He began to swerve, and lost His stomach right there.
I guess it was the bits of orange peel stuck in Myrtles teeth, and of course Her harendous breath probably. ( no matter how many times a possum brushes her teeth, Her breath could stop a Locamotive in its tracks) Its because She likes to nibble on Dog poop during recess. ( I wish people would scoop up behind their Dogs in the playground)
After BBBJH threw up and fainted, the director Said " Next " and myrtle scurried off stage.
I was so Proud of my little Girl, not only did She complete her lines, but She made that weirdo BBBJH look like a fool. Sad to say though Myrtle diden't get the part of Cinderella, but She did land the Part of one of the Evil Ugly Stepsisiters, A silent part that is, A part She will do well in.
Wll I'm going to take Myrtle out to celebrate this afternoon, She wants to go to the Batting Cages, Its a lot of fun, but I wish Myrtle would learn to let go of the Bat after She hits.
She keeps slinging Herself into the fence.
Until then
Sincerely
Myrtle's Father
posted by matt kevin jones at 4:30 PM
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